(Louis CK) "Those were simpler times, I think. I just feel like, we may be going back to that, by the way. But, uh..... In a way, GOOD, because when I read things like, 'the foundations of capitalism are shattering,' I'm like, maybe we need that, maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots on the sides. (Conan O'brien) "You think that would just bring us back to reality?" (LCK) "Yeah, because everything is amazing right now and nobody's happy. Like, in my lifetime, the changes in the world have been incredible. When I was a kid, we had a rotary phone. We had a phone we had to stand next to. And you had to dial it." (Conan) "Yes." (LCK) "You know how primitive? You're making sparks... ...in a phone. And you'd actually would've hate people with zeroes in their numbers 'cause it was more...'this guy's got some zeroes! Screw that guy! Why do I wanna...? Ugh!' And then, if they called and you weren't home the phone would just ring lonely, by itself. And then, if you wanted money, you had to go IN the bank, for, when it was open for, like, 3 hours. You had to stand in line and write yourself a check, like an idiot. And then, when you ran out of money, you'd just go 'Well, I can't do any more things now.'' (Conan) "That's it. Yeah" (LCK) "Even if you had a credit card card, the guy'd go "Ugh!" and he'd bring out this whole 'shunk...shunk' and he'd write..(laughter)... And, he'd have to call the President to see if you've got any money." (Conan) "You'd have to call the President, yeah! It was ridiculous!" (LCK) "Yeah." (Conan) "Do you feel that we now, in the twenty first century, we take technology for granted?" (LCK) "Yeah, 'cause now we live in an amazing, amazing world...and it's wasted on the crappiest generation of, just, spoiled idiots. They don't care! Because this is what people are like now. They got their phone now and they're like.... "Ugh...it won't..." GIVE IT a SECOND! IT'S GOING TO SPACE!. Can you give it a second to get back from space?" (cheers/laughter/applause) "I was on an airplane, and there was internet, high-speed internet on the airplane... ...the newest thing, that I know, exists. And I'm sitting on the plane, and they go 'Open up your laptop. You can go on the internet.' It's fast, and I'm watching Youtube clips, and I'm in an airplane. And then it breaks down. And they apologize the internet's not working. The guy next to me goes, "This is bull..(bleep). (laughter) Like how quickly the world owes him something, yet he knew existed only 10 seconds ago. And on planes..... (cheering/applause) Flying is the worst one, because people come back from flights, and they tell you their story. And it's like a horror story. They act like their flight was like a cattle-car in the 40's in Germany. That's how bad they make it sound. They're like... 'It was the worst day of my life. First of all, we didn't board for 20 minutes.... and then we get on the plane and they made us sit there...on the runway.... for 40 minutes. We had to sit there!' Oh, really! What happened next? Did you fly through the air....incredibly....like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle....of human flight, you non-contributing zero? YOU'RE FLYING! IT'S AMAZING! Everybody on every plane should just constantly be going.... 'OH MY GOD! WOW!' You're flying. You're sitting in a chair...in the sky!" (Conan) "Yes...yeah...yeah...He's right." (cheers/applause) (LCK) 'But my seat, it doesn't go back a lot.' (laughter) "You know, here's the thing. People, like, you know, say there's delays on flights... Delays? Really? New York to California in 5 hours. That used to take 30 YEARS....to do that. And a bunch of you would die on the way there....and have babies. It would be a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and you take a dump in your home. (laughter) (Conan) "Probably a nicer way to say it than that....."